Self Portrait Tuesday: Time #2
Posted on | March 14, 2006 | 19 Comments
Me as an 8 year old: Lanky as a bean pole with scratched knees, and sun blonde hair. Riding a red wagon down a washed out gully, full tilt. Climbing loquat and eucalyptus trees up to their highest branches, never falling. Rolling down the long stretch of grassy hill again and again and again. Keeping swallowtail caterpillars in a box. Becoming an expert mark with the bow and arrows I carved myself. Telling myself stories—outloud. Drinking root beer floats in ceramic mugs. Running naked with a herd of cattle in Covelo, CA when it was so hot, mirages would spring up everywhere at a distance…. And rescuing this squirrel from our cat. He became my pet for the year. His name was Chipper—because he liked eating corn chips, of course. He’d ride around on my shoulders, under my hair, or in a pouch I made.
Me as a teenager: Lanky and uncoordinated. Getting curves and waging a war against them. Scratched knees, a Lifeguard tan, sun and peroxide bleached hair. Riding around in a mint green Toyota Tercel with my best friend from high school eating cherries. Climbing cliffs at Goat Rock, never falling. Kissing boys again and again and again. Reading Dostoyevsky, Soloviev, Dante and Tolstoy for pleasure. Drinking beer, hating my parents and lying a lot. Writing stories—in my journal. Swimming naked at Salmon Creek beach with friends. ….And keeping chickens (7-8th grade), a rabbit, another rabbit, a dog, and Manx named Tomten.
Me in college: Lanky and mostly coordinated. Trying to learn how not to hate my curves. Scratched knees, East Coast pallor, my first pedicure and professionally highlighted hair. Riding my road bike 500 miles from upstate NY to Canada. Riding my mountain bike all over the woods. Climbing rock walls, sometimes falling. Kissing boys again and again and again, until I found the right one. Reading Diddion, Ellison, Kozol, and Morrison. Drinking wine from long stemmed glasses, learning to be honest with my parents and love myself. Writing poems and stories so furiously and copiously, I was sure I’d die of thirsting for words if I stopped. Running naked into the autumn waves at Harkness beach with my boyfriend (DH!)… And taking care of a python, a gecko, and an oyster toadfish (a work-study gig at a science center), milking 40 head of cows at a dairy (summer of my freshman year), and watching swans in the cove near my college.
Me now: Lanky and as coordinated as I’ll ever be. Finally loving my body for what it does: give birth, run long miles, hold me up right, give me pleasure; rather than for how it looks. Shin splints, East Coast pallor, and no-highlights pony tail. Riding the bike at the gym for cross training. Making plans to spend the summer rock climbing with my best friend from college. Kissing my husband and my beautiful Bean again and again and again. Reading Goldberg, Lamott, Kingsolver, Oliver, Illende and Bly. Drinking lattes for survival in the morning, loving my mother, missing my father, and trusting myself. Daring to write like my voice matters, and feeling certain that I’d die of thirsting for words if I stopped. Sleeping naked….And dreaming of keeping bees, and chickens; rescuing the neighborhood stray cat, missing my dog (with DH’s parents in NJ until we move) and tolorating the constant butt-first affection of my male cat, Mojo (why, why must cats be like that??)
Some things change with time. Other things never seem to.
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19 Responses to “Self Portrait Tuesday: Time #2”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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March 14th, 2006 @ 10:42 pm
wow, I relate to so much of this, but above all I am thankful for your strong voice, it keeps me coming back for more. well, that and the squirrel on your head!
March 14th, 2006 @ 11:29 pm
Love this and love who you are, past present and future.
March 15th, 2006 @ 12:23 am
We’d have been good friends growing up, to enjoy so many of the same things. Except that I’m not lanky! And if you saw my legs, as I sit and type this, you’d see the truth behind all the bruises: I’m probably not quite as coordinated
I loved this post. You have every reason to be proud of your life!
March 15th, 2006 @ 12:50 am
Wonderful word pictures
The squirrel is beyond words
March 15th, 2006 @ 12:58 am
Such. Great. Writing. Wow, how wonderful to be able to describe your life with such fullness, the words don’t come out like I want them to, when I want them to. Hope your future is just as lovely.
March 15th, 2006 @ 5:35 am
What a wonderful insight into how you’ve become who you are
And what a full life!
March 15th, 2006 @ 5:44 am
you are beautiful in countless ways. Loving this post.
March 15th, 2006 @ 8:47 am
This is so wonderful ~ what a great glimpse into your lifestyle and growing years. I love the continuity and also, your perfect description through color of West Coast to East coast life.
March 15th, 2006 @ 9:48 am
oh how familiar.
what has happened to
girlhood?
March 15th, 2006 @ 10:13 am
what a great way of telling
this story of yourself…
i loved the
same-but-different
feel…
and i also loved the
“loved my body for what it does
not just how it looks” idea…
March 15th, 2006 @ 10:37 am
the two threads that hold your life together? nakedness and the mouths of boys
March 15th, 2006 @ 10:50 am
I love this tracing of selves and Self. One of the wonderful things about growing older is having all of these memories and layers of former selves to play with, and catching glimpses of them at odd times.
And your voice DOES matter.
March 15th, 2006 @ 11:53 am
I’m thinking it’s time I hooked my scanner up – I’ve got plenty of childhood pictures to embarass myself with. What a wonderous post, and a unique way to look at yourself through the years. You are a woman full of adventure.
March 15th, 2006 @ 2:18 pm
What a wonderful way to create a biography. Absolutely wonderful!
March 15th, 2006 @ 3:18 pm
I think this post was a really beautiful idea and a great way to share who you have been with all of us who just know the pieces of you through this weblog. So much more of it connects and makes sense. I think I can definitely relate to the body-image, love-hate relationship with one’s curves.
March 15th, 2006 @ 3:40 pm
this was so beautiful. i think my favorite part was “daring to write like my voice matters.” that’s just what i needed to hear!
March 15th, 2006 @ 3:55 pm
I love how you constructed this.
March 15th, 2006 @ 5:37 pm
That you love your body because it holds you up right made me smile SO wide. I love this post. Sometimes, it seems the things that do change, and the things that stay the same, are mirror images of each other.
March 15th, 2006 @ 11:40 pm
Stephanie is absolutly right…you would have been great friends growing up! I loved reading this post! It reminded me so much of our Steph!