Advice, please
Posted on | October 29, 2006 | 20 Comments
So, here’s something about me: I’m shy on first meeting. No one believes me when I tell them that, but it’s painfully true. After the first introductions, I’m great.
Anyway, why you needed because: down the road a short distance live two teenage girls who I occasionally wave to as we drive past each other, or once in a while, pass running. They look like very nice girls–and definitely potential babysitters. And we NEED a babysitter. Like yesterday. Also, I’ve talked to their parents once or twice already (and mentioned that we’d love to have their daughters babysit–but nothing came of that casual suggestion.) So here’s my question–how should I go about approaching them about babysitting? Call? Stop by? When?
And also–what is the going rate for high school age babysitters? How late can you ask one to babysit? And in general, please provide any other babysitter tips you may have, oh Internets, I implore you.
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20 Responses to “Advice, please”
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I am Christina Rosalie
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October 29th, 2006 @ 10:59 pm
Phone! When I babysat when I was younger, I’d often get calls from people my parents knew or who I only knew a little, and didn’t think it was odd at all. It’s been more than 10 years since I last babysat, so I’m sure rates have changed, but my neighbour recently said something in passing about $8/h for her babysitter.
October 29th, 2006 @ 11:02 pm
I think it would be fine to either call or just ask in person next time you see either the girls or their parents. If they don’t babysit, maybe they have some friends who do. Once you can get one local babysitter, they are usually connected to their friends who are also babysitters and can refer you to them if they are busy or something. At least that’s how it worked in high school and college for me, when babysitting was my job!
As for the going rate, I have no idea but would venture a guess of $8 or $9/hour? And I think midnight seems like a reasonable time, but again this is just a guess.
October 30th, 2006 @ 3:41 am
We had a teenage babysitter (daughter of a colleague), but it was here in Sweden, so I can’t give you any good advice about rates or anything other than saying we tried never to be gone past midnight, and if we needed babysitting on a school night, we came home by 10 at the absolute latest. I would call, myself.
But maybe swinging by would be more neighborly?
October 30th, 2006 @ 7:01 am
I come from a family of 3 girls and so over the years, in our neighbourhood, we’ve been the babysitting family. For one family, in particular, we have remained very loyal. In fact, although I’m 26, I still take “the kids” out for movies and ice cream when I visit home. My youngest sister, though 20 years old, is still their babysitter, by choice!
When we were first approached, it was done via a letter. Kelly, their mom, dropped a note in our mailbox explaining that they had just moved in, looking for a sitter, the times and best of all the pay. I called her up and did a few “shadowing” shifts, where she got things done around the house while I watched the kids. Once she felt comfortable, she would leave me with them during the day, then night, then for weekends. Surely enough, I began to feel like part of that family. My sisters and I, willingly, have attended school plays, soccer games and birthday parties all under the guise of “babysitter” but actually because the kids felt like our own brother and sister.
Kelly paid well and still does. About $10 an hour. If she goes away on weekends, it’s a flat, but generous rate.
Take your time finding someone. Do you know where these girls live? Maybe try the letter approach? They’ll feel less obliged to say Yes on the spot but if they do, you’ll know it had been seriously considered. Be VERY clear about your expectations (no boys, locked doors, bed times) and keep good food in the house
October 30th, 2006 @ 8:27 am
I’d stop by on your way home from school – that way you can hopefully talk to the girl(s) and their mom. Our babysitter is a woman in our neighborhood who wishes she was G’s grandmother so I don’t have much feedback on teenagers. I would probably ask the mom about how late they can stay – I’d think 9 on a school night, 11-12 other nights depending on how old they are. NO idea how much the going rate is…maybe $7-10/hr?!
Good luck finding someone – the time to re-connect with DH is worth whatever they charge!
For what it’s worth you have a couple of babysitters in CT that are free of charge and would take your little man til the wee hours of the morning so that you guys could get out…
October 30th, 2006 @ 9:47 am
I’ve been paying $5-$6/hour here in Vermont. I have a friend in California who pays about the same there. For school nights, I never stay out past 9 — mainly because my kids will get in bed but will not fall asleep until I’m home. Weekends it’s usually midnight. I always give the babysitter a ride home, even though she only lives around the corner.
I’m in the same position you are. My babysitter left for college. There are a couple of girls on my street, but I haven’t approached them yet. We were so spoiled by the former babysitter, I’ve even considered driving to St. Mike’s to pick her up!
When you find a good babysitter, treat her well — overpay (round off to a full hour, even if she was only there for 10 to 15 minutes of it), have her favorite snacks, etc.
October 30th, 2006 @ 10:50 am
I would call before before dinner time. My teenage daughter has told me that it is easier to say no (if you want to) by phone than in person. She would feel obligated to say “yes” no matter how she really felt if someone was standing at the door.
I have a notebook entitled “Ethan’s 411″ that has sections. Section one is info for that night or day – where we are, the phone number there, etc. Section two is for Emergency – contact numbers, doctor’s number, hospital, his latest check-up info – height and weight, etc. Section Three is Movie/TV info. What he can and can’t watch, how long, channels, etc. Section Four – is food – what he likes, favorites, etc. Section Five – is stuff that he likes to do, play with, that kind of thing. My son is 5 years old and can certainly tell the babysitter what he wants and the like, but knowing him, he’d say he can watch HBO and drink coffee:)
I pay my babysitters(2), all freshman and sophmores in college now, $7.00 an hour. I know this may sound steep to some, but I trust these girls completely, know they need the money badly and want them to be able to say “yes”. I would pay no less than $5.00/hour because it is a very responsible job and you want them to take it seriously.
On weekends, I don’t mind leaving them here until 12:00 or 1:00. But on weeknights, it’s 11:00 or 11:30 at the latest even though they are 19 years old – studying, exams, drive time, etc.
Good luck!
Michelle in Asheville, NC
October 30th, 2006 @ 11:12 am
I’d call. I also like to talk to the mother, when I’m employing teenagers. I have 3 kids, and I pay $8-$10 an hour, depending on how many kids I leave and if they are awake most of the time or asleep. That’s Philly rates, though. For one child, I’d say that $7 for a high schooler is reasonable.
I’d just call up, tell them who you are, say you are new to the area and are looking for a babysitter so you can go out occasionally, and ask if they are interested. Then go from there.
You can ask what they charge, but I usually just pay them.
Good luck!
Oh, and as far as how late, I don’t worry about that too much. I would ask if I thought it might be getting late for them. Again, a good question for the mom.
October 30th, 2006 @ 11:44 am
Like most have commented, talk to the Mom. But I would also invite them over to your house before the big night to make sure everyone is comfortable. This also gives your child a chance to get to know the sitter.
October 30th, 2006 @ 12:12 pm
I would call. And I’d ask them first if they have a standard rate – this way, if it’s higher than anticipated, you don’t get a “no” right away because you’re lowballing them. (if it’s lower than anticipated, you don’t pay more than necessary!) Having said that, I think somewhere in the range of $6-$8 would be reasonable. We pay our college-aged sitters $8-$10 an hour.
Other random tips: We have all of our emergency numbers tacked on the refrigerator. If they’re staying late, I make it clear that dozing on the couch is okay by me. If we’re going somewhere that I need to look nice, I ask the babysitter to come a half-hour earlier than I intend to walk out the door so that I can finish getting ready without a toddler attached to my leg. And I ditto the comment above – once you find someone you like, make it clear that they’re appreciated. Round up, pay a little more, and they will always say yes.
October 30th, 2006 @ 1:45 pm
When I was in high school I did a lot of babysitting and LOVED it when people would call. Usually, they gave me a number and I would accept, because teenagers are most always desperate for cash. When I sat in college, though, I was more picky, and my rate was $10 an hour, more if they had 3+ kids to wrestle with.
October 30th, 2006 @ 2:44 pm
I think the advice about awake/asleep is good guide. If Bean will be asleep more than he will be awake, $7 is generous. If he will be awake more (saturday afternoon for example) and will need more entertaining, I think $10 is fair.
Its nice that they are sisters, my sisters and I tag teamed, if one of us wasn’t free, another usually was.
We still do that now when we stay with family friends kids but we ask $100 a day. I know that sounds steep but we don’t just “hang out” we’re normally do scocer practices and theatre rehearsals and making sure homeworks is done and a real dinner is made (vs Pizza).
Lastly, teenagers, especially new sitters, really do like knowing your expectations. If you say,” Once Bean is in bed, please feel free to nap with the monitor next to you” or “Please don’t use the computer, I use it for work.” It really is much better to know a parents expectations in advance instead of not being asked back becuase of a misunderstanding.
Hope that helps.
October 30th, 2006 @ 9:05 pm
I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate your advice. You gals rock!
October 30th, 2006 @ 10:05 pm
Phone them and ask them over to play with Bean for an hour (and pay them for it). So that they can meet you and Bean and find out the routine/rules/expectations. The comment about expectations is great, our 25 year old babysitter used our computer to check her hotmail (the first time she was here) and I was pissed off. I should have had it locked up, but I didn’t think about that. I now have a mom babysitter who is a kindergarten teacher on maternity leave (it is 1 year here in Can.) and I pay her $15 per hour. she can handle ANY situation, any attitude/behaviour. That is for 3 kids. When we had one kid and it was a teenager, I payed from $5 – $8. don’t ask them just pay – they will be pleasantly surprised.
October 31st, 2006 @ 12:15 pm
I am in my early twenties and still do some babysitting, and I did a little nannying, so maybe I can give you a perspective from “the other side.” First–be generous with what you pay. I find it very upsetting that parents will pay teenagers less than the minimum wage in their state to take care of their most precious possessions. In fact, pay over minimum wage, because that shows that you absolutely value their very important service. $8-10 is a good range.
Check with their parents about how late to stay out, because most teenagers don’t mind staying late after the kids go to bed. If you are willing to pay them extra, you can ask them to maybe do the dinner dishes, or a small task like that. Babysitters love the time after the kids go to bed to watch movies, read, etc. Hopefully, yours will love the time with Bean too. I babysit less for the money and more for my deep love of children.
Have a premeeting, as others have suggested. See how they click with Bean, tell them about discipline, food allergies, very specific bedtime routine (this one is the most important because it is so hard to put a child to sleep if you don’t have their very specific routine). Give suggestions for favorite activities, and of course lay the ground rules.
It is very nice to leave snacks and good food for your babysitter–don’t always expect them to eat what the baby eats. Ask what snacks they like, and buy them.
If you know their parents, I would probably call and set it up.
Good luck!
October 31st, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
I pay $5 an hour in Ohio — for 2 kids — youngest is 5 yo. I actually only use a babysitter on weekends — so can’t really answer the “how late” part of it for school nights. But I figure it this way: they WANT the money and WANT the time and HAVE the energy — so we always use a babysitter (instead of grandma) when we want dinner AND a movie or don’t want to feel guilty staying out a bit. And I always “round up” too — to keep her happy!
November 1st, 2006 @ 4:55 am
i don’t have any advice. my husband and i usually waited for the children to go to bed to have our date night (which was usually spent at home watching a movie together). i couldn’t trust anyone to babysit or when they did i would hear their mother talk about the little ones that their children babysat and it was never nice so i always wondered if my children would be treated in the same light. i’ve had to wait until our oldest had turned 12 before my husband and i could finally go out for an hour or two by ourselves. to go grocery shopping on our own was such a treat.
November 1st, 2006 @ 7:07 pm
Do you have any friends who have children in preschool? Sometimes childcare providers will work nights and weekends for extra money.
November 2nd, 2006 @ 1:38 am
Just be careful I did some stupid stuff when I babysat. Also I never took a job for less then 8-9. That was several years ago of course you know that. I used to also get paid up to 12 or more. Sometimes I would babysit tell midnight.
February 13th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm
Was looking at another “farmy” blog (I think it was Sugar Creek Farm) and saw a link to yours. Somehow I ended up on this particular entry and your statement, “So, here’s something about me: I’m shy on first meeting. No one believes me when I tell them that, but it’s painfully true. After the first introductions, I’m great.” struck me, hard. This is me! And I thought I was the only one. Felt the need to share that with you and to thank you for putting that out there. Phew. (No one believes me, either, when I tell them about my being shy on the first meeting. And it IS painfully true.)
Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your blog.