Comments on: One or two http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/ Living at full velocity. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:09:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Rose http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/comment-page-1/#comment-7028 Rose Sat, 10 Nov 2007 03:00:57 +0000 http://mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/#comment-7028 Hey, a little behind on my blog reading so I just saw this one. My daughters are 23 and 18 and in answer to your question about why more than one child, I remember wanting my oldest to have someone else; that one person in her life who would understand what it was like to grow up with her particular set of parents, a witness of sorts, someone who would be there after her father and I were gone. And I love seeing the relationship they have, even though there are 5 years apart. I have only one sister myself, and while there have been many times in our lives when we have been anything but close, I still know she's the only one who gets our childhood; the good, the bad, and the ugly. But that's just me. Hey, a little behind on my blog reading so I just saw this one. My daughters are 23 and 18 and in answer to your question about why more than one child, I remember wanting my oldest to have someone else; that one person in her life who would understand what it was like to grow up with her particular set of parents, a witness of sorts, someone who would be there after her father and I were gone. And I love seeing the relationship they have, even though there are 5 years apart. I have only one sister myself, and while there have been many times in our lives when we have been anything but close, I still know she’s the only one who gets our childhood; the good, the bad, and the ugly. But that’s just me.

]]> By: Heather http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/comment-page-1/#comment-7027 Heather Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:10:48 +0000 http://mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/#comment-7027 My daughter who is the oldest will turn 20 next month. Then my only boys are 17 (18 next May) and my youngest, just turned 10 last month. Im 36. I have been a mommy for more than half my life now.And to be honest, I struggle to connect with the other part of me who longs to achieve goals & dreams. As much as my youngest has been loved and spoiled to death by his two older siblings, he has also been very, very lonely. I have lost sleep over this many nights and there are days where I wish I would have had him sooner or had another sibling close to his age he could relate to. So, I have experienced both sides having two children close in age and one 10 years from the oldest. For my little mans sake, I wish I would have had him sooner so there wasnt such a huge age gap between him and my oldest kids. I am STILL working towards my dream of becoming a Nurse Practitioner. Its just taken me alot longer to reach my goal. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change my decision on having three, I just would have had them closer together. :) My daughter who is the oldest will turn 20 next month. Then my only boys are 17 (18 next May) and my youngest, just turned 10 last month. Im 36. I have been a mommy for more than half my life now.And to be honest, I struggle to connect with the other part of me who longs to achieve goals & dreams.

As much as my youngest has been loved and spoiled to death by his two older siblings, he has also been very, very lonely. I have lost sleep over this many nights and there are days where I wish I would have had him sooner or had another sibling close to his age he could relate to. So, I have experienced both sides having two children close in age and one 10 years from the oldest. For my little mans sake, I wish I would have had him sooner so there wasnt such a huge age gap between him and my oldest kids.

I am STILL working towards my dream of becoming a Nurse Practitioner. Its just taken me alot longer to reach my goal. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change my decision on having three, I just would have had them closer together. :)

]]> By: Sam http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/comment-page-1/#comment-7026 Sam Mon, 05 Nov 2007 23:15:20 +0000 http://mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/#comment-7026 First of all, big squeal of excitement about your graduate program! In Europe! Look at you, you marvellously talented woman! It's the age-old question, isn't it? And everyone makes their own choice, or the choice is sometimes made for us, I'm sure. As your friend (because we are friends, just far-away friends) I would say, don't do it until you are ready, with your whole heart. Bean will be okay as your darling one for awhile longer, and everyone is going to be happy if Mama is happy. There's NO RUSH. As for us, I feel really strongly, a deep down knowing, that I want to wait. Maybe until Thomas is in kindergarten. My brother and I are nearly 5 years apart, and I really don't think there's a perfect spacing. With my temperament, and as much as I adore little ones, I still want to focus all my love on my one precious kidlet for now. I don't want to miss out on his babyness and the goodness that's coming after. Especially as the next pregnancy will be considered high risk, we really must wait until everything is a bit more secure. And, as I joke, we gotta pay the bills for the first one! :) First of all, big squeal of excitement about your graduate program! In Europe! Look at you, you marvellously talented woman!

It’s the age-old question, isn’t it? And everyone makes their own choice, or the choice is sometimes made for us, I’m sure. As your friend (because we are friends, just far-away friends) I would say, don’t do it until you are ready, with your whole heart. Bean will be okay as your darling one for awhile longer, and everyone is going to be happy if Mama is happy. There’s NO RUSH.

As for us, I feel really strongly, a deep down knowing, that I want to wait. Maybe until Thomas is in kindergarten. My brother and I are nearly 5 years apart, and I really don’t think there’s a perfect spacing. With my temperament, and as much as I adore little ones, I still want to focus all my love on my one precious kidlet for now. I don’t want to miss out on his babyness and the goodness that’s coming after. Especially as the next pregnancy will be considered high risk, we really must wait until everything is a bit more secure. And, as I joke, we gotta pay the bills for the first one! :)

]]> By: Sarah http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/comment-page-1/#comment-7025 Sarah Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:42:37 +0000 http://mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/#comment-7025 I'm an only child and have never been lonely, and also my parents ensured I was always surrounded by the friends of their children. I feel they had such freedom with just me and we went on so many adventures as a child. I loved the closeness I have with my parents until this day. We were always a "three" and I never felt left out or excluded. I have a little on on the way in two weeks, we will see how things go but I wouldn't have more than one child because of a worry in terms of the loneliness factor as I never experienced that myself. I’m an only child and have never been lonely, and also my parents ensured I was always surrounded by the friends of their children. I feel they had such freedom with just me and we went on so many adventures as a child. I loved the closeness I have with my parents until this day. We were always a “three” and I never felt left out or excluded. I have a little on on the way in two weeks, we will see how things go but I wouldn’t have more than one child because of a worry in terms of the loneliness factor as I never experienced that myself.

]]> By: emma http://www.mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/comment-page-1/#comment-7024 emma Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:31:59 +0000 http://mytopography.com/2007/11/03/one-or-two/#comment-7024 I'm an only child too, and like Genie I have no idea what it's like to have siblings. But you can't miss what you don't have. Same goes for my single-parent mother being my only family, for me it was just totally normal, not a "broken family" in any way. I too have a very close relationship with some of my cousins. We used to live in a same building when I was small and play together every day. We still get together every Christmas. A lot of only children I know are more thoughtful, more independent and have stronger sense of "me" and not in a bad way entirely ;) We look at things differently, have a different way of being. I can usually guess if people are only children or not pretty quickly after meeting them, and have no idea how I pick it up. I think I want kid(s) one day, if it's possible, but haven't really thought about how many. I guess I just have to leave it to life :) I'd say follow your passions, and have a second child if you feel like it later, but don't worry about it. There are no mistakes. I’m an only child too, and like Genie I have no idea what it’s like to have siblings. But you can’t miss what you don’t have. Same goes for my single-parent mother being my only family, for me it was just totally normal, not a “broken family” in any way.

I too have a very close relationship with some of my cousins. We used to live in a same building when I was small and play together every day. We still get together every Christmas.

A lot of only children I know are more thoughtful, more independent and have stronger sense of “me” and not in a bad way entirely ;) We look at things differently, have a different way of being. I can usually guess if people are only children or not pretty quickly after meeting them, and have no idea how I pick it up.

I think I want kid(s) one day, if it’s possible, but haven’t really thought about how many. I guess I just have to leave it to life :) I’d say follow your passions, and have a second child if you feel like it later, but don’t worry about it. There are no mistakes.

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