My secret inner superhero
Posted on | January 3, 2008 | 11 Comments
The other night I was talking to a friend. He said, “I don’t know, I guess I still feel like somewhere inside me is an inner superhero.”
I’m right there with him.
I still have that feeling: like one morning I’ll wake up and miraculously be able to live full throttle—without the shredded edges of tiredness that come with staying up late and waking up early and doing a job that requires me to be one-hundred-and-fifty percent on every single minute of the day.
My secret inner superhero (who is tucked into the pocket of my heart, along with my first-star-of-the-evening wishes, and all the instances where find four-leaf-clovers, or cross my fingers for luck) is someone who doesn’t hesitate, second guess, forget things, or feel totally scrambled and drained at the end of a week, and isn’t prone to weird allergic reactions to any form of allopathic medicine (I totally am & am currently so disposed) or bouts of unnecessary snapping at the people I love.
My secret inner superhero can ski triple black diamonds, ride a mountain bike downhill without fear, run triathlons, contribute to magazines, publish a novel, do art, paint her toenails flawlessly, send packages to friends and loved ones ahead of important dates, show up early, hang glide at least once , travel to every continent, speak another language, spend a week a the Louver, actually reads all the books I should have read in high school, and meditates regularly.
The thing is, I attempt all of these things, but sometimes just feel so small, so fragmented, so insignificant, compared with what I dream.
I throw myself into the day, and then blink and it’s over. I made a perfect latte this morning—first time ever. During writing workshop at school, the classroom hummed—pencils scratching, the chatter of kids reading their work to each other, the clack of the keyboard. In the afternoon I caught my breath in the cold, walking to my car. The sky was a frosty, pale orange. The sun was setting. Birds, quiet in the winter twilight, made black silhouettes along the telephone wires. I gathered Bean into my arms. Together we painted, and giggled, and read stories. Then in the dark, I pressed my head against his hair, and inhaled. Just that.
Maybe it’s not so small after all.
(P.S. What is your secret inner superhero like?)
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January 4th, 2008 @ 12:00 am
I like the voice you write in. I can almost imagine you speaking. I am glad to see you creating for the January challenge. It has inspired me and I have been blogging my work for these past days, but I don’t think I have found the voice I best like to hear in my writing. I think that is something I will have to work on and be inspired by your skills in that area. On superheroes…hmm will have to think about that. However, triathlons will be one of the things my inner superhero can do. –Thanks again
January 4th, 2008 @ 2:29 am
How lovely to see such a glimpse of how you spend your day. I love that your secret inner superhero has flawlessly painted nails.
Mine never has a bad hair day.
January 4th, 2008 @ 3:01 am
my inner superhero isn’t afraid of drowning, or getting eaten by a great white, or hitting her head on a rock. she knows that to meet death this way is to fully live. she also can hang ten logrolling at Capitola
January 4th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
My inner hero does many of the things yours does. And I feel the same, that even if I accomplish the little bit, no one there to celebrate it or to make it the event it is in my head. My inner hero is sailing the oceans as a kick-ass marine biologist, instead of sitting at a job that has nothing to do with marine biology.
January 4th, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
your art is amazing,
so is your writing!
and i love how you always
come to the conclusion that
just ‘being’ with your son
is enough. that it’s what matters
most of all!
good for yOU!
you have so many gifts!
tara
January 4th, 2008 @ 3:16 pm
Your are such a breath of fresh air. I am a stay at home mom, which I know deep down inside is the most important thing for our family right now. There are times when people ask what do you do? As if that is soley who you are. I am proud to say that I am a stay at home mom, but on the other hand I am so much more. There are days when being a mom consumes me and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. My inner super hero is a fantastic photographer. I do photography on the side, but I am to scared to jump out there and say here I am. Taking different paths and jumping for what you want is so different for me with my family. Scared is one thing I have never been. I guess I feel like if I fail, I will let my family down.
January 4th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
My inner superhero is brave, with that cocky confidence we love to see in movie heros. She conquers her fears of riding ski lifts and meeting new people and driving in Europe. She practices new languages, even though she might get the words wrong. She tries to get published, even though she might end up rejected. She jumps into each new day with hope, even though breakfast might burn and her hair might not cooperate and the baby will most definitely throw up all over the clean laundry.
Thanks for posting this question. Visualizing my fantastic “secret identity” reminds me of when I was a little girl, pretending to be an actress so that the morning oatmeal (ugh!) could seem glamorous. It gave me a kind of rush then as it does now — the idea that there’s an undiscovered part of me that makes me… epic. I hope that makes sense.
And who knows — maybe 2008 will be a year for superhero sightings!
January 6th, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
Gorgeous collages!
What technique did you use to do the photo transfer over your painting? I would dearly love to know!
Thank you!
January 8th, 2008 @ 1:05 am
Someone recommended your blog to me some time ago, and I have been reading for quite a while. I love your writing… this is beautiful! I hope you don’t mind, I thought it was a fun writing exercise (though I am not really a writer), and I decided to respond to your question of “what is your inner superhero like?” here: http://adventure-girl.livejournal.com/111697.html
Loving your writing and your art, as always!
Lauren
January 11th, 2008 @ 9:06 am
Wonderful writing…reading your posts is like sitting down with a good book! I suppose my inner hero is much like yours…mine is fearless of bridges over water, not afraid of heights and able to comprehend computer programs. Ha! Has clarity in thought and refuses to fuss with the inner critic. My day goes by so quickly and always prepared to tackle the items on my list and at the end of the day none or maybe some are accomplished. But that all changes with the little things like hugs from my children or simple as a kiss on my forehead from my DH. It’s those little things that make my day count and worry less about things that went unfinished.
Your art is just as amazing! Love it! I will definately be back to visit and devour more of your writing and art!
Nancy
January 15th, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
I just blogged about The Artist’s Way (for the upteenth time) over at my blog, Creative DC, and included your collage and a snippet of your post:
http://www.creativedc.org/blog/2008/01/artists-way-or-highway.html
I hope this is ok!
I love the idea of an inner superhero – and love how identifying your inner superhero becomes a tool for figuring out steps you can take to make your life more fulfilling. Before I read The Artist’s Way there was this gaping void between my inner and outer selves…I think bringing these two selves into balance is a life’s work. All we can do is try.
FYI, this site lets you create an entry in an interactive yearbook, and part of creating your entry is choosing a superpower
http://www.pbs.org/americanhigh/yearbook/