a bumpy start
Posted on | July 28, 2008 | 3 Comments
I woke up with a crazy tension headache: the kind that makes everything seem like it the world should be painted in shades of pale blue. Made mint tea and sugar toast, and still I felt like crying.
The sun is out this morning though the ground is soft from too much rain. I am trying, trying so hard to will myself up off the couch and head outdoors with Bean to plant things in the garden, or take a walk with the camera, or even go upstairs and paint something, but so far all I can do is sit here feeling like a collection of glass shards in a paper sack
Bean is playing ‘hospital’ by himself in a nook across the living room. “I have to see if your heart is bumping mama,” he says with a pretend stethoscope in hand.
I turn away so he cannot see my eyes, suddenly hot with tears.
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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July 28th, 2008 @ 10:00 am
We all have days like these. I’ve had a few myself. Dozens of small (or not-so-small) griefs build up, give the day a sharp edge. Find something to savor, something to treasure today, even if it’s the trill of birdsong. It won’t hurt to give yourself time to feel what you feel, release those hot tears and open yourself up to whatever soothes you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling awful today.
Melissa
July 28th, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
I know it doesn’t help now, but it will get better. This is just your body making you do what it thinks you need to – lay down and rest. I read somewhere that you may not feel it, but in these early months your body is working just as hard as a mountain climber – it is just doing it by making that little baby.
Hang in there, honey. Have some tea and cookies (if you can stand them) on the floor with Bean and just try to get through it with as little stress possible.
July 28th, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
be easy with yourself. go with how you feel, it is your true indication, your inner self talking to you. just let yourself be emotional and raw, and be thankful for it. you are a beautiful being making another beautiful being. there is so much gloriousness in that. love and light~