Surly.

Posted on | September 21, 2008 | 4 Comments

I have been in a catastrophically bad mood. All day. I have tried, desperately to shake it, but it seems to still have the better of me. I convinced DH to haul Bean on a hike up the mountain through the first fallen red leaves. I took note of the bright blue sky. Munched a fresh-picked apple and ate potato chips on the bank of an old beaver pond. Watched the light angle through the quivering leaves. And still, I felt like crying.

Everything makes me cry. Everything makes me surly. Every word angled carelessly in my direction. Everything, including the bin of maternity clothes DH fished out of the basement for me, and all I could think as I looked through them was, “dear lord, these are all hideous fat clothes.” Even though they’re not. Even though there are some pants in there I entirely forgot about that are not half bad at all.

To make matters worse, Bean has been a monster today. There have been maybe five days in his entire life where I didn’t like him very much, even as I love him desperately to bits, and today was one of them. Everything I asked him to do was met with tantrums. Sweatshirts have become a heated issue. He hates them. Yet he must wear them. It makes going out of the house a royal pain.

The only redeeming thing about Bean’s mood (which matched mine, I know, this fact is not lost on me) was that he drew a picture of a monster today on his easel, and the picture could just as well have been a self portrait with three googly eyes, a whole mess of teeth, a big slobbery tongue and four ears. Oy.

I have resorted to ice cream. I have not yet eaten said ice cream, but it is my only hope that any small shred of the day might be salvaged.

Category: Motherhood

Comments

4 Responses to “Surly.”

  1. misti
    September 21st, 2008 @ 8:26 pm

    I hope things are brighter for you tomorrow.

  2. Sam
    September 21st, 2008 @ 8:42 pm

    Don’t you just hate it, when you KNOW you are in a bad mood, just a bad place, and you can’t shift out of it? But ice cream is good. Ice cream is really good, especially with chocolate chips on top. Be patient with yourself, I always say, and know that tomorrow is a brand new day, fresh with no mistakes in it yet. (love, Anne Shirley and Pollyanna)

  3. Leah
    September 21st, 2008 @ 9:25 pm

    Those effing bad moods; those lucid bad moods; those moods where I’m bone-achingly bored and not wanting to do anything at the very same time. Luckily I have a husband who knows the mood, keeps suggesting, and eventually gets me out of it.
    Tea helps, for me. Tea and a movie. Sometimes. Only if I’m in the right point of the bad mood and open to getting up off the couch to make the tea. Ha!

  4. lizardek
    September 22nd, 2008 @ 12:27 pm

    Sam, you crack me up!!

    EAT THAT ICE CREAM, woman! All of it!!

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