Recuperating
Posted on | March 28, 2009 | 7 Comments
Tonight I feel like lint flicked from a pocket on the breeze, or like a piece sky blue ribbon caught in a snarl of twigs, or like a small field mouse, ears transparent and patterned with intricate veins betraying a tiny fluttering pulse, curled into a nest of fuzz and scraps of cloth beneath the woodpile logs. Unraveled, scattered, tired. My heart beating in my temples. Trying to learn what recuperating means, as I realize that instead of rest I’ve been holding everyone else together these past few days. Doing too much. Hard not to.
I haven’t learned yet how to protect my energy without being selfish. How to take care of myself without hoarding my time. Is there a way to balance this, as a mother and as an artist? The filament feels so flimsy between me and the world tonight.
Things to Think
Think in ways you’ve never thought before.
If the phone rings, think of it as carrying a message
Larger than anything you’ve ever heard,
Vaster than a hundred lines of Yeats.
Think that someone may bring a bear to your door,
Maybe wounded and deranged; or think that a moose
Has risen out of the lake, and he’s carrying on his antlers
A child of your own whom you’ve never seen.
When someone knocks on the door, think that he’s about
To give you something large: tell you you’re forgiven,
Or that it’s not necessary to work all the time, or that it’s
Been decided that if you lie down no one will die.
From Morning Poems by Robert Bly (© 1998 Robert Bly)
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7 Responses to “Recuperating”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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March 29th, 2009 @ 4:40 am
Feel better, sweetie
March 29th, 2009 @ 6:00 am
I have another happy little something to think about:
Think left and think right and think low and think high.
Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
from Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!
March 29th, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
I know how you feel. I too tend to want to hold up the world by myself. Iam learning to take a step back. I am beging to find out that the I am not a bad parent to want to do things for myself and the world will not end if the house is a mess and we have leftovers again for dinner. The important thing is the kids are happy and healthy, everything else will fall into place.
March 30th, 2009 @ 8:57 am
Hope you are better today…
March 30th, 2009 @ 11:25 am
Oh how beautiful your writing is!
March 30th, 2009 @ 1:08 pm
“Is there a way to balance this?” I don’t know. Eight years and three daughters into motherhood and I’m still trying to figure that out. I think there is, but maybe it’s in terms of years, not minutes. We give so much during these tender years, and someday there will be more time again, hours, weekends, years even. Now, the scale is very lopsided, but these little people are worth it.
March 30th, 2009 @ 11:56 pm
So, I have a question for you…. I love reading about mommy stuff but how do you have time to gather and post all this info AND be a parent?
I guess for our sake I’m glad you do, but it seems like a lot of work!