Things that I loved about today: figs & raw honey, a four mile run (!) and a swim in our neighbor’s pond. Oh how I love to swim…and somehow I had forgotten this. I don’t know why it’s taken me three years to go and jump in, the surface rippling green, bluebirds swooping about. How I love the soft feel of the pond bottom underfoot, the way the water is soft on your skin, the way the bubbles rise up when you kick. Bean and I have gone every day this week. We lie like otters on the little wooden dock, and then we swim.
He doesn’t know how to swim yet, but he’s becoming more daring: leaping from the bank into the water into my arms. His grins, his chattering teeth, his little muscled torso nearly break my heart. He is so lovely, so beautiful, my son. My firstborn boy, so big now: learning to swim.
On his bike he is a terror. He’s been riding without training wheels for months and now he purposely seeks out the washed out, steepest places on the driveway, the bumpiest pot-holes to ride over full tilt. He’s a mountain biker in the making: the way he skids to a stop, leaps off his bike, swings back on it, all the while grinning, mud splattering up the back of his shirt, his yellow thunderbolt helmet the perfect statement.
Boys. Even though I imagined boys I couldn’t have pictured this. The delight and silliness of little boys. The way they play together makes me nearly swoon with pleasure. Bean seeks out Sprout, he wants to be near him, next to him. He ‘reads’ him books, acts out entire narratives with matchbox cars, sings endless little songs, lies noes to nose with him. And all the while Sprout grins like he’s having lunch with his idol. It’s the best, the way my boys are together. I want more than anything for them to stay this way. For them to always be buddies and friends, for Bean to always have Sprout’s back. For Sprout to always burst into wide smiles when his brother enters the room. It makes me so happy.
Bean asked if he and Sprout could share a room recently. We have 3 bedrooms, so they wouldn’t have to necessarily, and it hadn’t really occurred to me to have them share. But now I’m wondering, why not? What are the pros and cons? I always had to share a room with one or the other of my sisters, and while I am sure they hated it (sorry I stole all your clothes, sis!) I adored it. Not always, but most of the time. I loved going to bed and having a sister to whisper with, and waking up in the middle of the night and hearing her breathe. But now as a parent I’m not actually sure how to orchestrate room sharing–with boys who are four years apart. How would bedtimes work?
So. Questions: what were the highlights of your day today? And: yea or nay on the shared-bedroom business?
I love sharing rooms when they’re young and then letting them have their own once they’re older (just to try it out). I think it brings them closer together.
What a gift to have two children who treasure one another. Adorable. Your words are lovely.
Yes yes yes on the room sharing. I shared with my four-years-older sister until I was 10, and then we only separated because we moved into a bigger house. We have so many happy memories of word games we played in our separate beds after lights out. I had a half hour earlier bed time, but I rarely went to sleep before she came in.
Me and my sis were 7 years apart, and we only managed 2 years of sharing before we had to seperate. We are very different human beings, still are, so it was like oil and water, or more accurately gunpowder and a match. Loved the seperate rooms, we would still regularly play together in one of them, but it still afforded us each our own space and privacy to be our own people and for that I am enternally grateful to my parents.
I say yes on sharing, too, until they decide they want their own rooms
it’s interesting isn’t it, that most kids these days don’t share a room and when i was growing up, it seemed the norm.
making my day is the bus pulling up in front of my house to drop off my girl from a full day of camp – her long, willowy legs and body honey-colored from a day in the sun and the smell of her…oh, how she smells like love and summer all in one sweet small body.
My brother and I are 7 years apart and we shared a room for the first couple of years of his life and I don’t remember ever having a problem with it. It sounds like they’d do well…I say go for it!
I say yes to them sharing a room! Mine shared a room when we had a 3 bedroom house because one room was an office/playroom. now we have a 5 bedroom house and they each have their own room but my 9.5 year old sleeps on my bedroom floor because she is scared! I really am considering putting their beds in one room and a playroom of the other bedroom. (the other ones are a guest room, office/scraproom and master bedroom). I think they would be happy together! what time do they go to bed now? try to make their bedtimes consistent. maybe they can drift off to sleep reading together! how CUTE!!!
Tara
oh and when I grew up we ALWAYS swam in a pond or a river LOL! we got leeches from the river thougH! just frogs and tadpoles in the pond LOL! how fuN! brings back many memories for me! we also swam in Lake Superior! but it was COLD!
tara
YES on sharing a room! My little brother & I shared until I was 8. I remember “drawing” on his back over his jam top when he wasn’t able to fall asleep, playing guessing games, telling stories. I’d never have those memories (& we wouldn’t have shared those times) if we had separate bedrooms. I think boys do great in the same room, anyway. Keep ‘em together as long as you can–they’ll bond in such a special way. They’ll be their own little gang!
My sister and I are four years apart, and we shared a room for a while, even though there were three bedrooms… my parents let us use the extra as a playroom, which worked out quite well. And when we were ready for separate rooms, we let them know, and my sister moved into the playroom and things were adjusted, but I know we shared for quite some time. As far as bedtimes go, I think once we were both at the age of story-reading, we went to bed at the same time-ish.
Oh, let them share a room! When Bean is 13 or 14, he’ll be begging for his own room again — this is the best time to do it!
I think it’s so fantastic that your boys love each other so much. I really appreciate reading these endearing little narratives.
My girls are 4 1/2 years apart and have shared a room 3 different times.
Currently, they each have their own room. Correction: Currently, their laundry goes to separate rooms. And when the 12-yr old is mad, she goes to her separate room.
Every other time and every night, they are together in one room or the other. It’s like trying to keep magnets apart. Either they’re both in the big double bed. Or camping on the floor of one room. Or the latest configuration: One in the big bed, one in a cozy corner next to the big bed. They look at me aghast if I suggest they both sleep in their own bed or in separate rooms.
Of course, during the school year when I need to keep the after-9:00 p.m. plotting and giggling to a minimum, I enforce the “own beds” rule. On school nights only.
Let them share and let them know that each always has the option to “opt out” for his own space!
My older wanted to share bedrooms with the little one – we have a way cool set up where the wall between their rooms retracts and we can open it up into one room. After three nights he decided his brother was too loud. We closed the wall and will try again later. I can see them having a great deal – too much – fun with it and it’s actually something I hope they’ll want to do at some point.
Highlight was talking to a nice new sweet guy today.
Jack and Syl are 3 1/2 years apart and they share a room, they have to (!), but they love it. In the morning Syl wakes up first and Jack “reads” her books. Syl is very hard to put down so she goes down first and then Jack and I read a book in my bed and he is transferred to his bed
This would have never worked a couple years ago when bedtime was torturous, but now Jack falls asleep almost immediately after his head hit’s the pillow! I always shared a room with my sisters and we loved it.
As for my favorite part of the day (yesterday, I am at work today), Front door open Jack constructing an elaborate set up of matchbox cars and gardening equipment on the front porch, Syl on the front lawn singing a song to her baby. Love it and love the summer! How lovely to have a swimming hole so close to you!
I love the idea of brothers sharing a room, but like you I wonder how it would work with a little one like Sprout. Maybe you can just praise Bean’s generous spirit to the high heavens for now and tell him as soon as baby brother gets bigger, absolutely!
(that fig looks divine!)
I admire your pond swimming. I spent my childhood looking out for water moccasins (very poisonous!) in our farm ponds so I cannot fathom a swim in a pond. Oh my gosh. I am freaking out just THINKING about it.
oh that fig, the run and the swim – sounds like the perfect day to me. bliss!!!