Not a morning poem at all
Posted on | October 12, 2009 | 22 Comments
So. I think my short-term memory and my general ability to hold my shit together may be forever altered by the permanent lack of sleep that has become a fixture in my life, post babies.
Exhibit A:Last week I left my cell phone on the roof of my car and drove away. I watched as it flew off and did a lovely flip in the air before landing on the road behind me. I pulled to the side, cursing, with Bean wide eyed in the back seat, and threw on my emergency blinkers (do they have some other word? I’m sure they do, but I cannot remember it. See–shit has been lost, people.) I then dashed back to retrieve it, hoping that at the worst it would be scratched but still functional. But of course, it landed in the effing middle of the road and an SUV ran it over just before I was able to dash out into two-way traffic to rescue it. SMASHED beyond repair.
Bean kept muttering, “This is terrible. This is soo terrible.” All the way home.
Maybe this happens to everyone, and perhaps it is what some people gently refer to as GETTING OLD, but I’m only THIRTY ONE, people, and I and should have more of a capacity to remember things and generally keep my shit together than I have recently demonstrated.
Exhibit B: This morning I put my coffee cup on the roof of my car.
You’d think I would have learned, right?
Nooo. I drove off in oblivion only to slam on the breaks and come to a lurching stop at the bottom of our rather steep driveway as my coffee cup hurtled down my windshield. What the eff? Then I had to listen to Bean mutter about how his view was ruined by my frozen coffee splattered across his window.
It’s a little bit more than my view that’s been affected, BUDDY.
Exhibit C: While I remembered HIS jacket and hat and mittens for school this morning, I somehow managed to leave the house without so much as a vest, and it was COLD this morning. As in the first frost of the season happened last night. This situation was then made worse when I went to buy bagels and proceeded to spill the entire contents of the worst latte of my life (from here–don’t ask me why I even ordered one!) onto my lap.
Cold? Check. Wet? Check. Shit completely lost? CHECK.
Please tell me this changes. Please.
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22 Responses to “Not a morning poem at all”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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October 12th, 2009 @ 2:34 pm
Sometimes it is okay to be on the bottom of the heap. Under the huddle of life’s mess. We notice our feelings. We have them! They burst out like firecrackers – sudden, loud, colorful, unexpected. Dont caterpillars turn to mush before they emerge as butterflies? Chaos. Possibility. Gratitude.
October 12th, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
Well. Good Morning!
Will it make you feel better if I told you that I set things on the roof of my car and drove off when I was 16? I had to learn to put things on the hood of my car, in front of the driver-side window, so I could see it when I had forgotten to put it in the car. I had to “learn” this skill for a while.
I don’t really think it is years that age you, I think it is how many babies you have. They seem to take the gray matter with them when they are born.
It seems, for me, to go in cycles. I will feel really competent and successful for a stretch of time (sometimes this stretch is an hour, sometimes it can last a whole week) and then something happens and I lose it again. It seems like whatever I focus on manifests. So, focus on your successes, and all that you do well and maybe you will get your groove back.
Or, you can put your hazards on, pull over to the side of the road, and take a nap. That might work the best of all. As long as you are dressed warmly enough.
Hope things turn around soon. Sending you hugs so you get warm!
October 12th, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
Hazards! THAT is what they are called. I knew they had a name! Ha. And yes–Megsie, I feel that way exactly–that the competence/incompetence goes in cycles…and thank you for the reminder to focus on what I want to see manifest.
October 12th, 2009 @ 2:44 pm
I can assure you that it changes. It typically gets worse
October 12th, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Gosh….this is exactly how I feel most of the time lately….
I’m constantly apologizing for forgetting things, and am great at starting something….just can’t seem to finish anything. From a cup of coffee to a load of wash…..having little ones (one of which still likes to nurse several times at night at 8 months) has muddled my mind. I truly believe it’s not an age thing, it’s a current stage of life thing. When you are making a million little decisions for multiple people (me, plus my 2 little ones)….there is not much left at the end of the day but mush…still feeling in a little bit of survival mode. And the whole sleep deprivation is key (in my opinion)….you know….lack of it, or being constantly interrupted….just not good for rebuilding those brain cells. Good news is….as I remember from when baby number 1 started to get older….it does improve….one day at a time. You are not alone!
October 12th, 2009 @ 4:31 pm
It does go in cycles, I wonder if sometimes our bodies have to adjust to the seasons and the dark coming earlier.
I hate when I make appointments for the same day, only to completely blow them off. Or when I’m talking on my cell, walk away, and rip the charger out of the wall/car.
It will get better. You will sleep again. I promise.
October 12th, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
eek, not fun. i’m sick and feeling like crap and haven’t even been out to buy a coffee to spill. does that make you feel a little bit better? now you know there are others lower in the heap
October 12th, 2009 @ 5:06 pm
At least you haven’t left THE BABY on the top of the car: http://www.snopes.com/autos/mishaps/babyroof.asp
October 12th, 2009 @ 5:48 pm
I left a bundle of books, held together with a rubber band, on my car roof on Friday after I picked up my son at school. The silver lining was that of all the places they might have fallen off –never to be seen again, I’m sure–they landed in the road in front of my neighbor’s house, and he found them the next morning when he went out to collect his newspaper. The most pathetic part is I never even noticed they were missing until he called!
Thank you for sharing your mishaps–at least I know I’m not alone.
Your poems were beautiful, by the way.
October 12th, 2009 @ 6:02 pm
sorry you had such a bad morning. BUT this post had me totally laughing out loud…I can totally recall my mom having times like these with us two kids in tow. One time she left her PURSE on the top of the car and drove off down the freeway-oops! another time she got pulled over speeding in a school zone taking us to school with the family bunny for show n’ tell. It’s times like these that make me wonder what life will be like with my own kids. I am due in 2 days yet feel like I am going to be pregnant FOREVER!
(BTW-I think it is sleep deprivation that causes these types of mishaps)
October 12th, 2009 @ 6:21 pm
I don’t have babies, and this happens to me. I feel like circumstances are out to get me, sometimes, even while I know that isn’t the case. I get like this–scattered and forgetful and so, so sensitive to everything–when I have too many balls in the air, when I’m filling up every nook and cranny with another to-do item, when I’m racing and running and not stopping to recognize what I need from the day. Or week, or month or whatever.
I think it will get better. It does for me. Sharing helps, I’m sure. I’ll think of you today and hope that you will soon find refreshment.
Melissa
October 12th, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
Ahh I miss you girl. Your humor is the best. Really, even when it’s only sort of meant to be humorous. I’ve known you for a long time, and will say I’ve always kind of been amazed at this part of your personality (the hairbrush losing one
). My conclusion is that it comes along with the amazing creativity, sensitivity towards people, writing ability, and general perceptiveness you have in the world (along with your cooking, painting, etc etc). All of this is unique, and I appreciated it anew when I visited recently (as well as struggles-to-be-in-the-material-details-of-life part of you are 
). Really, you’re awesome. And people loose cell phones in stranger ways every day–I know someone who dropped theirs in the toilet!
Hugs, miss you,
W
October 12th, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
I too cracked up reading this! I don’t have little ones yet and I too do this type of stuff all the time! It seems to be the way the “power” of the world reminds you to laugh at yourself. I mean really, one of your readers makes a great point–at least you didn’t leave your little guy on the roof.. I mean cell phones and coffee cups are forgiveable! I miss you loads, and hope you don’t mind I got a laugh at your expense! I don’t often read your blog but when I do, I wish I was right down the street so we could conspire over a cup of something hot! Kisses,
e
October 12th, 2009 @ 8:22 pm
Oh my God, this made me laugh, mostly the part with Bean muttering to himself in the back seat. My thing lately has been misplacing and while I search tghe house for them Jack folows me around saying things like, “this ALWAYS happens” and “we are going to be sooooo late”. Yeah that doesn’t help buddy!
And hazard lights! I was reading this thinking, what are those called???
October 12th, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
Oh my gosh, I hope your days get better.
No sleep sucks. Trust me on this, when I say that since I have had my girls (almost 10 years) I have never slept through an entire night without waking up at least once. and it’s usually one of them crying out in a dream, coming in my room, or banging the side of my bed while they are sleeping on my floor. THe sleep deprivation does get better in time or you just get used to it!
the brain fog, not so much ha ha!
You will have better days, I KNOW IT!
hugs!!!
tara
October 12th, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
Oh, honey…for me it was a flash of hot pink in the rear view window (video rentals) in the middle of a slushy, horrid winter day. A truck then promptly ran them over splitting the frozen discs into little jagged pieces. Hope you get some rest soon.
October 13th, 2009 @ 6:04 pm
You didn’t put the kids on the roof of the car & drive off! I know that’s weak BUT similar tragedies have happened. I think all the stupidness comes from lack of sleep (sometimes for months & years) & thinking for 2 other people in your case–ya gotta think & plan & remember & get together for you AND the boys! That’s exhausting!! Oh plus cook, clean, rock, work, launder, ….
October 13th, 2009 @ 8:45 pm
Hey – yes. I am living this with you.
October 14th, 2009 @ 12:44 am
oh you poor sweet thing! i have had weeks like that. and i completely understand losing simple words like “hazard lights”. hell, today i couldn’t even find the damn button when i needed to pull off the road. i mean, SERIOUSLY, how do you forget where the hell the button is??? i still don’t know. i don’t know if it has to do with those little beasties we call children, but boy, i want my brain back too. and bean is too cute complaining about his view being ruined. porter is like that too and some mornings i lose my temper and give him a smart ass remark like “duh, what do you think it’s doing for me.” totally uncalled for with a 4.5 year old, i know, but sometimes it can’t be helped.
i hope it gets better.
October 14th, 2009 @ 6:41 am
Your story reminds me of the time my my mom left her manual typewriter in the roof of the car when I was about Bean’s age and my brother was Sprout’s. Amazingly, she didn’t notice it slide off. My dad found it in the mud of our driveway hours later. Another time she somehow lost her keys inside the sleeve of her jacket, and was frantic because she could HEAR them but not find them. We grew up, she got more sane. It will pass.
October 15th, 2009 @ 10:52 pm
It’s been a long time since I’ve visited your corner, Christina. I had a second baby in March and I was confessing my complete LACK OF MEMORY to Miles’ preschool teacher last week (because of course I totally forgot some pertinent piece of paperwork that I now can’t remember…again) and she reminded me that it’s a lack of sleep that causes this. How could I forget? Oh, because I’m too tired to think straight!?!
Loved your interview at wishmamas. I’m on that quest for balance with you, sister. Sarcastic wit in hand and distressed 4 year old commenting on my every foible. I know it’ll get better-for both of us!
October 22nd, 2009 @ 7:18 pm
First time posting here. And, can I be honest with you? This post made me happy. Not because you had a horrible day-no, I only feel for you and hope it gets better. But happy because it made me realize that you’re One Of Us. I’m the same age as you, have a 2 yr. old and 4 month old, am a once-upon-a-time freelance artist who aspires to be a writer, and I am forever in amazement at all you do. I constantly think you have your shit together exponentially more than I do, if that makes you feel any better. Your words and pictures are beautiful-thank you for sharing them. And thank you for reminding me that you’re human!