2009
Posted on | December 31, 2009 | 14 Comments
1. January
I quit my job. At the time I took a leave of absence, but already I knew I wouldn’t return. I was enormously pregnant, nesting, wistful, restless.2. February
Sprout was born, after seven hours of labor, four days after his brother’s fourth birthday. I yelled a lot of expletives while in the shower, in labor, while in my head I kept seeing the image of a mountain–steep, serene and calm. And then. Then. This perfect boy that has filled my year with utter entire joy. We stared at each other. He lay on my belly and we just breathed. I counted his toes, kissed him, smelled him, nuzzled his soft head. He nursed, and looked at me, and was quiet. And so began our love affair.3. March
Spring fever. Longing for green. And beginning to realize what the year would be. A roller coaster. In the dark looking through windows, everything blurry and unexpected and off-kilter, especially financially, but also emotionally.4. April
Finally blossoms. Planting seed starts. Feeling the impermanence and indelible insistence of what it means to be a mother of two small boys. Realizing that nothing lasts, even when things were tenuous between us.5. May
Spring for real. Collecting tadpoles. Taking walks with Bean. Running. Weight lifting. Systematically breaking personal records. Faster, harder, farther. Rhubarb in the garden and snap peas. And also, we slept and dreamed and become something greater than the sum of ourselves this year.6. June
It was a summer of give-and-take, of us coming face-to-face with the consequences of a life lived pell-mell, with gusto and ambition and also arduous domesticity. We were in the thick of sleep deprivation and summer’s heat and rain. Endless rain. Also rainbows. And lettuce in the garden.7. July
Evidence of the intangible. Feeling on the cusp of things. Starting my novel. Running hard. Breaking my own records. The first tomatoes. Too much rain.8. August
Sprout was 6 months old. I started doing freelance copy editing. We went on a horrifically funny camping trip. I received several rejection letters in the mail. Berry picking. Baking. The tomato blight killed most of the tomatoes in the garden. More rain.9. September
The beginning of all sorts of things…Bean started in a new school… our ten-year anniversary, and laundry. A 10 hour car trip with both boys to Maine. A week with my best friend. Apples ripening. Glorious late summer sun (finally, no rain.) Also: two weddings, the last two of my dearest girlfriends were married.10. October
A post at wishstudio, getting a new job, noticing the light, having things speed up. Exquisite foliage. Also morning poems. Pumpkin picking. Digging up potatoes.11. November
All about noticing what we have. Navigating a part time job, NaNoWriMo two boys. 50K words. Sort of. New friends. Dinner parties. Moodiness. Teething. Sprout started standing.12. December
Now. It has been a year of noticing moments. Making cookies for Santa with friends + sledding. The most glorious snow.
When I first started looking back at the year, I could hardly remember it. Blink. The entire year happened. And then I took a breath.
It was a year of intensely lived moments, pervasive financial stress, and newborn sleep-induced forgetfulness. On one hand, I accomplished nothing. On the other: I’m here. We are. We’re in love, big time. I have a novel that I hoard, obsess over, gloat over, feel terror about. I have two boys. I can make bread without a recipe. I can run a six minute mile. I can do a pull up. I’ve begun to paint again.
What about you? I’d love to hear what you are proud of from this year… what you learned or accomplished.
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December 31st, 2009 @ 3:54 am
Beautiful post. Hope 2010 is amazing for you.
December 31st, 2009 @ 4:54 am
I love this! what a beautiful year! here’s to another.
December 31st, 2009 @ 5:43 am
This brought tears. There are the recollections of our own troubles and trials and yearnings this past year. But also of joy and love and surprise; the truth that there is so much goodness in the people that surround us, in the earth that sustains us, in the conversations and laughter we share over dinner. There is so much goodness. Even in endless rain.
Happy New Year.
xo
December 31st, 2009 @ 6:58 am
What I am proud of… I don’t know if I have ever thought about that. I finished my Master’s Degree this year. I began it so long ago, when I was still kid-less and teaching, and then I neglected to write my thesis. I thought I had nothing but time, and so many things I wanted to accomplish. Being a mother was not on my radar when I got pregnant. I never thought I would finish, but I did. I jumped though many hoops and enjoyed it most of the time. I am also in the process of learning how to maintain my own blog. I don’t know if I am proud of it or not, but I guess I am proud of myself for taking the risk and beginning. I still don’t really know what to write most of the time. What to share, what to keep to myself… I am writing personal things, and sometimes I lose sight of my audience. I have written all my life…in notebooks…for myself. Writing for an audience is something I don’t know a lot about. I still enjoy reading your words when they appear here. Thank you for being a great role-model for me.
Happy New Year!
December 31st, 2009 @ 7:34 am
Love this post. As I do so many of your posts (well, ALL of your posts, really). How did you create the 12 picture image? And me? I’m proud of passing my final licensing exam in my field. I’m proud of keeping on keeping on when I wanted to give up.
December 31st, 2009 @ 11:30 am
What a wonderful year-in-review. Such fantastic memories!!
December 31st, 2009 @ 1:53 pm
Wow. That is really all I can think to say. What an amazing year. I love seeing it all concentrated in one post like this, like a dense short story rich with detail and subtext. Very powerful. Happy New Year!
December 31st, 2009 @ 2:16 pm
You’ve had a brave and magnificent year…you will look back and realize the giant leaps of faith you (as a family) made. I have every confidence it will pay off…and somehow I missed reading that wishstudio article and it’s, of course, pure magic & wisdom. Wishing the happiest New Year for you and your wonderful boys, my dear friend.
December 31st, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
This is a gorgeous collection of photos. What a year. Wishing you all the best in 2010. Keep writing, your words are so beautiful!
December 31st, 2009 @ 6:50 pm
Happy New Year to you and your boys. I wrote a letter to 2009 that I posted to my blog…it was hard, meaningful and rewarding…but hard. I am looking forward to 2010 more than I have any other year….:*) Here’s to noticing moments…I think I might toast to that tonite!
January 1st, 2010 @ 12:45 am
Sincere and straightforward post. For me, 2009 was one of the biggest years in a while: got engaged, finished my thesis and master’s degree, planted my first garden, found my first ‘real’ job as a therapist, got married, took a remarkable honeymoon.
Whew! I’m ready for what is waiting in ’10!
January 1st, 2010 @ 5:46 pm
What an amazing year! I hope you still feel like a mountain. You are a mountain, mama! Happy New Year!
January 2nd, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
I wish I could say I accomplished something big this year. But it was a pretty quiet year full of family time. My daughter turned 10 years old and I realized it all went by in the blink of an eye. Mostly I am just proud of my girls! THey are the best thing I have ever done in my life!
I did write in their journals and scrapbook quite a bit this year and mostly, TOOK TONS OF PICTURES!
You had a GREAT year! so proud of yoU!
tara
January 3rd, 2010 @ 11:47 am
In all the years I’ve been reading this blog, it still rings of a deep, underpinning melancholy.
I wish for you in 2010 that it lifts and that your writing reflects this.
In short, I hope you climb your mountain.