Sugaring
Posted on | March 15, 2010 | 9 Comments
Sugaring with the neighbors yesterday. I love their old-school, hand made set up. I love the sweet clouds of steam, and how everything feels hopeful and grand standing around the evaporator watching the sap bubble and thicken. Hours pass, easily, occupied this way. Bean was all helper this year. Carrying wood. Pouring sap from the metal tap buckets into the big plastic five gallon bucket to be filtered and poured. He even got to strike the match to light the fire up. This is his boyhood. This is what he will remember. This is why we are here, even though things are so tenuous financially right now that at any moment we might slip, and have to leave. So. This is why I’m throwing my heart into trying to make A Field Guide To Now. This is why there is a lump in my throat at night, when I can see how it might not reach that stupid enormous funding goal (that also feels so small.)
Last year ate our savings. Last year ate everything. This year, who knows? This year, the outcome is anyone’s guess. We could move. We could stay. It’s all up in the air, illusive as the steam, as tender as the first fat buds.
So that’s the truth. I want this life more than anything.
Also: You can win this painting.
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9 Responses to “Sugaring”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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March 15th, 2010 @ 9:31 pm
It’s killing me that I can’t pledge more. It’s killing me to know what you’re going through, watching that number inch up too slowly. $10,000 seems like a HUGE amount to me. I know, it’s small in the grand scheme of things, and honestly, I know that whichever way it goes you will make beautiful things happen. This is not the only way to make it happen. I can’t believe that.
March 15th, 2010 @ 9:33 pm
Loving. I would love love to go maple sugaring one year… it’s on my life list, that’s for certain. ♥
March 16th, 2010 @ 1:10 am
Oh, Christina~ What else can I do? I wish that I could do more. Hang in there, it isn’t over yet.
March 16th, 2010 @ 6:39 am
Every word you put on this page seems so bold in light of life’s impermanence. Going sugaring even when everything could fall apart, asking for what you need to coax your dreams into the open, mothering and writing and not really knowing anything for sure… it’s everyday bravery and ridiculously inspiring.
March 16th, 2010 @ 6:05 pm
You all are lovely and wonderful. You do enough. Your comments make me endlessly happy. Molly–some day you should come out this way! I can help you get that crossed off your life list!
March 16th, 2010 @ 8:09 pm
Beautiful photos. Beautiful boy. Beautiful life. I didn’t want to forget to say that, so I said it first. You are doing such a strong thing–putting your completed book project out in the universe. It will be done…because you have already committed to complete it. Really…don’t let doubt creep in. Easier said than done, I know. I’ve been on the receiving end of advice like that & I’ve thought how stupid & simple it sounds, but really keep believing in the reality of your completed project. Want to hear some more “stupid & simple” advice? lol Forget about the money. You’ll have enough to do what’s important. Really. We went from no kids, huge money, huge house to the c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e opposite in every way conceivable. (I’ll fill ya in sometime!) We’re still trying to find solid ground, but in the grand scheme it’ll be okay. In the big picture…like maybe zoomed way, way, WAYYYYYYYY out, I mean!!! Peace to you today.
March 17th, 2010 @ 12:02 am
Jamie–it’s NOT done actually. Not even close. It’s in the prototyping, super creative, totally in flux phase. There are essays that are done. There are some illustrations. But noo, it’s not even close to do. I jumped the gun, so to speak, with posting it as an unfinished project–but I wanted to do it that way, because I needed the motivation and kick (get it, kickstarter!) to really make it happen…and it has been amazing to be doing it this way because it HAS gotten me started. It has gotten the ball rolling. It has let me know that this is a good direction to go in, even if this crazy goal isn’t achieved. And I get it–its a peculiar thing to ask for support for a work in progress, but there you have it.
Today I’m remembering what matters: the book will get published when it’s finished… THAT matters. The how/when–who knows? Also: all of your encouragement….your comments matter a lot too.
March 17th, 2010 @ 6:38 pm
I have felt so badly ever since I made that “done” comment. I never meant to underestimate the immensity of your project. I heard this in a talk once: 3 birds were sitting on a wire. They decided to fly away. A minute later 1 bird was still sitting on the wire. He had decided to fly away but never did anything about it, so there he sat with this great decision made. What I meant was that you really (in a big way!) did something about your “idea” turning it into a reality. That’s an awesome thing.
March 17th, 2010 @ 7:05 pm
And you are awesome Jamie. I think that metaphor is exactly why I’ve taken this leap!