A quiet space
Posted on | July 15, 2010 | 19 Comments
Here are some studio glimpses…I love it so.
And today I am trying to make one more hard, important, life-changing decision about career pursuits. It depends wholly on others: their help, support, time, etc. And it’s about having kids and having a career, naturally. About pursuing graduate school now, or waiting. It’s about feeling like time is slipping by (my time, and their childhood’s both.)
It’s about loving them hard: my boys with their sweet sticky grins and laughter and innocence, and about about wanting the best for the… and also wanting the best for me. It’s about wondering if those are mutually inclusive or mutually exclusive.
It’s about getting ahead or falling behind and about hopefully ending up right where I’m supposed to be.
(I’m curious what you believe: Does the universe have the outcome planned, or are we architects of the outcomes all on our own?)
Trusting, trusting, trusting.
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19 Responses to “A quiet space”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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July 15th, 2010 @ 12:10 pm
This is a lovely space, tranquil yet friendly. You are lucky to have somewhere like this. I really get what you mean when you talk about time slipping by; if I let it, it would make me anxious. I don’t think the universe has the outcome planned, it is down to you. And mostly I think we will look back and say, “In the end it was a good thing that such-and-such happened”.
I have three little boys, aged 6, 4 and 2, and it scares me how fast time flies by, how chores sometimes take up the whole day, until it seems there hasn’t been any time for fun. But I am trying to enjoy every minute, whether it is an amazing moment or just everyday routine. Whatever you choose to do, if you spend as much time with your sons as you can, I don’t think you will ever have any real regrets about your choices. Good luck to you.
July 15th, 2010 @ 12:36 pm
i love your studio. and i really love that oak file cabinet and then i want to sit down in front of the glass doors on your bookcase and look at the titles…
gah, i don’t know! how this: i believe that the universe has its plan, but i believe we’re the masters of our own destiny. and that i have to ask, really ask, (beyond words) for help from all the sources, which is the hardest thing for me to do.
i hope your answer comes with peace + love…really me saying that is more about my answers coming to me with peace + love, because sometimes i believe that my path is to make it hard on myself.
July 15th, 2010 @ 1:20 pm
your space looks so inviting. i can’t wait to see what wonders are birthed from it.
July 15th, 2010 @ 1:41 pm
Regarding your question, who’s in charge here, and what’s the best way to approach a goal? This is something I’ve spent years, decades, contemplating. My thoughts…
We have free will. And we can create pretty much what we want by sheer will or force. If we focus on what we want, plan, organize, gather allies, we can accomplish a goal.
OR, we can surrender to the wisdom of the universe. A hard, hard, hard thing to do, surrender. In surrendering we have to listen to our Higher Self. And it’s very difficult to discern between the voices of our higher selves and our ego, but once we do, baby, there’s a big payoff. Everything works not only for US, but for the greater good of others. At this point, we’re in tune with the universe, and things fall into place – opportunities surround us, allies come to our aid.
I highly recommend option 2, surrender.
Commitment is also necessary. This week I’ve found this quote by W. H. Murray to be true, oh so true:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”
But perhaps this is what you’ve already done, Christina, with the Field Guide to Now. You seem to be in The Zone, things are going your way. Whatever you’re doing seems to be working for you and your DH.
July 15th, 2010 @ 3:47 pm
Whom or what are your trusting?
July 15th, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
Oh I LOVE IT!!!!!! SOOOO JEALOUS! good thing i love you or else i would have to hate you
I believe that the it is a little of both … I think you choose who you want to be but there are some helping hands guiding you along.
I had this weird sliding doors moment on facebook recently. My mom and her sister do not get along. Her daughter, my cousin, is just a few months older than me. We are both 36. She grew up in a household with two parents and a home. I grew up with a single mom who worked all the time. She has 4 kids and 2 grandchildren, no education and a whole bunch of ICK in her life. And I am about as opposite as you can get (and unbelievably grateful!!!).
What I am getting at with this story is that I think you have to force yourself to be better …you have to force yourself to be more than what your parents have set out for you. But I think there is a spark in us, put there when the magic of sperm and egg came together and started forming us into what we are now. It is up to us to listen to that *spark* and feed it. I could have ended up just like her … a baby at 15, no education. But I was so HUNGRY. And that is the only reason I got out of where I was … because that *spark* of LIFE and the little dream that there was so much more out there kicked me in the ass and made me get out of my own way.
So, yeah, trust … but also dream and wonder and TRY.
July 15th, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
I believe in God/Jesus so of course I believe there is a master plan, but I believe in choices too and God knows ahead what you will do, but ultimately the choice is yours….
I think you have a beautiful life, no matter what you choose, your boys are just precious!
and your art + words are beautifuL!
tara
July 15th, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
p.s. I LOVE YOUR STUDIO!
GORgeous pix!
tara
July 15th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
What a beautiful space…just for you! You LUCKY dog. I am jealous too. About the whole universe thing, I agree with those above who say that there is something that you were created for to fulfill the universe in some way. But, it is up to you to (in the word of BP) SAY YES to it. I would highly recommend re-reading her post for the new year (2010). It haunts me. It is why I am starting down a brand new path in about a month (oh, my god…ONE MONTH! AHHHH!)
July 15th, 2010 @ 6:08 pm
It’s beautiful. And good for you for claiming it.
I don’t know how I could have done it then but I wish I hadn’t waited…
July 15th, 2010 @ 8:30 pm
You guys: thank you so much. You are so awesome!!
July 15th, 2010 @ 8:35 pm
I think the universe is like a river and it flows according to its own path and we have the choice to swim with it or against it or to explore numerous tributaries and dead end channels. In the end we will come to the same place, either exhausted from struggling or full of the joy of being swept along by the current. And we will all end up back in the great energy source from whence we came, ready to begin again.
Letting go in the current can be the hardest thing but also the safest.
July 15th, 2010 @ 10:22 pm
I am so happy for you…and jealous at the same moment!!! Such a beautiful, energetic space. I think it was perfect to paint everything white.
Okay…”And today I am trying to make one more hard, important, life-changing decision…”. WHAT?!?! I can’t take it!!! ONE MORE?!?! MORE?!?!? You are either sublimely peaceful and centered, or you’re cuh-razy! (I am totally kidding–please don’t be offended!) Another good for you that you are able to consider such a momentous option.
Nope–no predetermined plan. The picture doesn’t come together. If there were a plan in place for each of us, what’s the point of an individual being able to have, develop, reject, change their desires? It would be a sick joke to allow someone to want and yearn and strive for a thing that–”oops, sorry isn’t part of the plan. Nice that it was a focus of your life, but ya wasted all your time & energy. Too bad for you!” I totally believe in God & his purposes, but WE have full control over our desires, goals, choices. There’s so much to that topic–more that a yes, or no answer. There’s non-conscious intention, community energy, true actions (saying you want to lose weight while eating a half gallon of ice cream, for example), … But I do think that we choose a path and leave others, for a time or possibly forever. That’s all I have to say about that. (Thank you, Forrest.)
Can we all come & visit and play in your studio?! Hee-hee!
July 15th, 2010 @ 10:33 pm
Absolutely delightful! Hope you can create lots of wonderment and beautiful things in here.
July 15th, 2010 @ 11:58 pm
LOVE the new space. Please let me come over and play!
As for The Universe having a plan…obviously, I believe in God, who I believe loves us like crazy and has good plans for us. I think there are many paths to the plans he has for us – I used to be paralyzed, thinking there was only ONE right life for me, and what if I made the wrong choice and messed it all up? And someone explained it to me as such: our life as a map, with many different routes, but all paths leading to the same place. The work is up to us, but knowing that we use our gifts and yes, our shortcomings, that we learn along the way: that’s incredibly helpful to me. I also cling to the idea of life going in seasons: knowing that things won’t always be what they are today.
I agree with a previous commenter: you seem to be very in tune with what you love, and what you need. Listen to your heart. Don’t make any decisions from a place of fear.
July 16th, 2010 @ 1:12 am
I’m so happy for you in your new space!
We are our own architects. There is no wrong answer just different answers. I hope you’ll be happy and fulfilled either way.
July 16th, 2010 @ 7:42 am
I failed to mention your studio. It’s beautiful, a lovely environment in which to create.
July 18th, 2010 @ 11:55 am
You asked a question; I am compelled to respond.
(That is to say, I can’t resist questions. They draw me like magnets.)
I believe it is an interesting and delicate balance of both. I believe that God knows all of the days of our lives, but He doesn’t control them. We are allowed to create and design our own existence on the canvass He gave us: today, this moment, now. And exactly how an all-knowing, all-powerful God knows what will happen, but doesn’t control it is beyond my small mind. But it is the only option that makes sense to me, and agrees with what He said about Himself. I think He guides and directs, even when we are not aware that He’s doing it. So that sometimes it feels like ‘fate’ or like a path was ordained for us. And maybe sometimes we are compelled down that path, and maybe sometimes we are invited. Yet regardless of the strength of the pull we always have the choice to walk in it or not. So it is both.
(And your happiness is beaming right through your posts. It’s so good to see.)
July 20th, 2010 @ 5:01 am
this is a beautiful quiet space
I’ve been reading you for a while here in France without posting but I couldn’t resist to comment on this post.
I believe the universe has sketched some of the lines of our destiny and that we take those lines and make up a path that changes throu’ out life,depending on the people we find or lose along the way.