With grace
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | 9 Comments
Good morning! We are just about to head out on a long bike ride (so happy) but I wanted to post these photos. I am loving the morning light this summer… and playing around with focus. I’m so looking forward to The August Break (there are a lot of projects around here that need some serious attention and it will be lovely to just show up in this space every day with a few photographs.)
In other news, there is still no news. I am learning gradually, slowly, to just settle into the present and let it be. I have begun to see how the mind in limbo becomes a trickster; how worry springs up when there is nothing else for the mind to do. When in a place of uncertainty, it’s like the mind wants to be productive, wants to be doing something, and so, for lack of anything better–the untrained mind defaults to worry, to distraction, to imagining all the ways that things might not work out.
I am trying to do this part with grace. Already, some things that felt like they took forever to happen are behind me now with certainty: T is starting his new job next week, for one. I remember how we both obsessed over that situation, how the worry felt like a plum in my throat, swallowed whole. So we’ll see. I’m trusting now that the right things will happen; that this is my right life filled with early morning sun, and words to write, and small boys playing harmonicas underfoot.
Also: I spent all of yesterday thinking it was Tuesday. Imagine my surprise to discover today is Friday. Has this ever happened to you?
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9 Responses to “With grace”
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I am Christina Rosalie
Hello. I'm so happy you've stopped by!
I am a multimedia storyteller, digital strategist, idea starter, stalker of wonder, finder of four leaf clovers, MFA graduate student, and mama of boys. My first book,
will be published by SKIRT! Books in September, 2012.
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July 30th, 2010 @ 10:19 am
I can beat that! I spent the whole past year thinking I was a year older than I am.
July 30th, 2010 @ 10:35 am
oh man. worry. do you think it is genetic. I am a worrier – and I see it in my daughter – in fact seeing her worry – has made me realize just how futile it is… so much time wasted.
good thoughts.
July 30th, 2010 @ 10:48 am
i have been obsessed with capturing light and shadows this summer…these are magic!
July 30th, 2010 @ 11:57 am
Thank you for posting this. You have no idea how timely this is for me to read today. Recently, I have been a ball of worry. I think you’re right — it gives my mind something to do in lieu of controlling the situation.
So, yeah… grace.
July 30th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
I am a worrier too, but am working on it. This week, I have been doing the things that I can, and trying not to think about the things I can’t do yet. There is enough to do right now to keep me busy! Still sending good thoughts to you!
July 30th, 2010 @ 8:17 pm
Thanks for the reminder. A situation came up today that has me so tied in knots. You’re right–”for lack of anything better–the untrained mind defaults to worry”. I’ll be taking some time this evening to clear my mind. Hope your bike ride was great!
July 31st, 2010 @ 11:28 am
i know the limbo trickster well.
a lovely soul, you are. xx
July 31st, 2010 @ 11:32 am
You hit it on the nail. When I’m not creating, my mind instantly goes into worry mode. On a side note, I grew up in Vt & left for college out west. Now, I’m living in Ohio but hope to one day get back there. Your blog is so lovely and your writing is amazing. Thanks for sharing.
August 5th, 2010 @ 4:48 am
Hoo, that last line gave me a moment as I read it on the following *Thursday*!