Being brothers
Posted on | February 23, 2012 | 13 Comments
This is what being brothers looks like.
A jar of apple butter. A jar of peanut butter. Two spoons. A completely unsanctioned snack that was Bean’s solution to the ravenous feeling they both have at about 4pm.
I decided to instead of saying no, to just hang out and watch them from behind the lens. I like doing this. Sitting back, seeing without interrupting or intervening. Just letting them be their silly selves. I love their unintentionally matched shirts; their nose rubs; their eyelashes; the way their body language is synchronized.
Best decision ever: to have both of them. Brothers rock. They have this bond that makes me feel like they’re gonna be okay no matter what. I wonder if they’ll feel that way about each other when they grow up? (Is that something that a parent can actually influence at all?)
Tell me about your family. Do you have siblings? Are you close with them? How did that relationship evolve?
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13 Responses to “Being brothers”
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February 24th, 2012 @ 12:06 am
I remember when you were agonizing about having another child, and asking our advice. I suggested that you wait till the desire to procreate overcame your objections. Then you got pregnant. And I offered the disclaimer “or wait until the universe decrees it anyway.” I am so happy that you feel the rightness of having second son.
I am the middle of five. My mum always said, “None of you were planned. But all of you were loved.”
February 24th, 2012 @ 8:29 am
I have one sister, six years younger. I’m always amazed by people who tell me they aren’t close to their sibling ‘because of the age difference.’. It’s almost always less than the six years between us, and we are SO close. We always have been. And I think Mom had alot to do with that. She always did everything (grocery shopping, whatever) with both of us, so we really didn’t live in separate worlds. At the same time, I wasn’t expected to babysit all the time or take her along for teenage activities. (and, because of that, I did take her along more than most.). And, finally, both my sister and I have clear memories of being told ‘your sister is the only person you get for your entire life.’. We took that seriously, and we still do. She ranks right up with husband and child as the most important and influential people in my life.
February 24th, 2012 @ 8:46 am
What an awesome series of photos!!! My younger sister and I are two years apart in age and not close. Its sad but a few years ago, I finally got to a place where I could accept it for what it is. My signifant other has a twin brother and a younger brother – not only do they all live in the same town, they’ve owned a business together for about 7 years. They are all in their early 30′s and bicker like kids sometimes but they are very close. We frequently have dinner together. Vacation together. And they always, always have each others backs – no questions asked.
February 24th, 2012 @ 9:12 am
Gorgeous photos. My kids are a little younger but they play in this same way with each other, each with their own roles in the relationship but each clearly adoring the other. You’ve inspired me to sit back and watch more and intervene less. Your boys are so special. And so BIG!!!!
February 24th, 2012 @ 9:23 am
I know there are some people who very much believe parents can influence how close their children are. Part of me likes the idea – that your sibling can be your closest friend. BUT I also know how your sibling can drive you perfectly crazy and push all your buttons. I know I really want to encourage the friendship between my first and any future sibilings, even though he’ll be so much older. I don’t want him to look down on his sibling(s) for being babies or any of that nonsense. BUT I love these series of photos and seeing Bean and Sprout together, I think you’re doing something right. And Bean looks so big, it’s kinda breaking my heart.
February 24th, 2012 @ 9:27 am
P.S. My brother (younger than me by almost 5 years) and I are not super close in that sense of talking every day on the phone. He can still drive me crazy. BUT when we get together, we get along so well and have a wonderful bond. We’ve discovered how fun it is to be together, without our parents or other family.
February 24th, 2012 @ 11:33 am
ooof. i have (had) a sister that i was extremely close to, although growing up we duked it out. a lot. we were joined at the hip from our early 20′s on until she passed and i miss her and our connection every day. sigh.
February 24th, 2012 @ 11:37 am
Oh Kristen, so sorry… I know that ache. It never leaves, does it?
February 24th, 2012 @ 12:45 pm
My sister is almost 6 years younger and we weren’t that close as kids, mostly because I was mean and didn’t make time for her. I have to say now that there are few things in my life that I regret more, as an adult. Luckily, she is the forgiving sort and we are close now. In fact, just this morning I was telling my two daughters that nothing beats taking a long road trip with your sister.
My brother has a different mom and we didn’t grow up together or even meet until we were in our teens but we love each other dearly now and absolutely have each other’s backs. So choice has a lot to do with it.
That being said, I am so glad that I had my kids close together and that despite having a boy and two girls, they all get along pretty much all of the time. I love that. And I hope it lasts a lifetime.
February 25th, 2012 @ 3:59 pm
My sister is six years older than I am and I wouldn’t say that we are close, but then I wouldn’t say that we are NOT close either. We talk infrequently, but when we do, we totally catch up. I don’t think she would be my first call in a crisis, but she is on the list. This was the reason I chose to have my kids close together. They are good playmates when one is missing, otherwise you know, three’s a crowd. I just hope that they remain close as adults. Is there a magic formula for this?
February 26th, 2012 @ 11:12 am
Wow, do they ever look alike here! I always wonder if there is an inherent bond for siblings who look alike. My siblings and I do not look alike and my own children do not look alike either. In fact, I do not look that much like my parents and my kids don’t look like me. We’re all well-mixed servings of physical genetic traits I guess. I think it would be magical to look into a sibling’s eyes and to see a glimpse of myself. My youngest son has a near carbon copy of my husband’s eyes. I find myself staring at him as I marvel at how they twinkle just the same and are the identical dark chocolate color that I could swim in. When he catches me staring at him, he smiles so much he dissolves into a cuddle and says, “you’re looking at my brown eyes again aren’t you mom!”
February 27th, 2012 @ 12:05 pm
You have SUCH beautiful little heartbreaker boys. Their eyelashes are like tiny animals. Wonderful images.
March 4th, 2012 @ 1:46 am
Such beautiful boys! You’ve captured the joy of childhood with these pics.
My sister is a year younger than I, and while we were close as kids, we are not close now. My dad just passed away after living with my family for the last two years, and I wish I could talk with the only other person who has known me my whole life…
It breaks my heart to write that I can’t.
My three children (boy 19, girl 17, and girl 12) like each other and have fun together. The two girls are best of friends; the older includes her sister in her activities and they still play and have fun. Big brother is away at college, but when he’s home they hang out and talk.
The two oldest played together all the time when they were little. We live in the foothills and I didn’t work, so they just had each other and had all sorts of fun and adventures together.
Writing about my sister makes me sad, but seeing my kids together (my girls are sharing a bag of jelly beans and discussing all the bizarre flavors as I write) and seeing your pictures of your Bean and Sprout fills me with joy.
‘Nuff said.